Here's the bad news. Sometimes it's too little, too late. Too honest? Really, though, there are some things you do and have been doing, maybe since before you were even married, that basically ensure that it's not going to last. Abuse, constant fighting, control issues, infidelity, just to name a few.
But there are some things you do that contribute to the beginning of the end. Maybe you don't know you do it, maybe you need someone to call you out on it because your partner never does. Whatever the case, we're here to give you a heads-up, to shine a spotlight on things you may be doing that you need to stop right now in order to save your marriage. You're welcome.
Hands in
Remember in the beginning when you couldn't keep your hands off one another? That slowly fizzled, which is fine when you get into that comfort zone, but if you stop holding hands, that's a whole other level you're sinking to. It makes the other person wonder if you've just become lazy, they're not worth the effort or, even worse, if you stopped caring. Hand-holding is something middle-schoolers do and if you ain't keeping up with them, that's a bad sign.
Keep on kissing on
Whether it's a peck on the cheek or a slobbery kiss with loads of tongue, there's no need to stop. She'll just think you're rejecting her or he'll believe you no longer find him attractive. A kiss makes your person feel loved. Enough said.
Stop giving a crap
In the beginning, you would get all dolled up or, at the very least, tried. You looked good, smelled good, kept the grooming in check. Now you fart when he's right next to you and he doesn't bother closing the door when he's using the toilet. The No. 2 kind of bathroom visit. When you move from spouse to annoying older sibling, it's never good.
Point out weaknesses
Sometimes you fight, that's fine, all couples do. But when you're pointing out flaws and weaknesses, that's nothing but dirty. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it all, that saying definitely applies but if you're only saying things to cut her down and not build her up, same rules apply. You might call it constructive criticism but most people don't want to hear about ways they need to improve. Unless they ask, don't tell.
The name game
Any sort of insult or name-calling is juvenile; you can do better than that. Hell, BE better than that. Whether you're calling him "an idiot" or "stupid" or "annoying" or even "lazy" (yes, even when it's the truth), words hurt. And do you really want to hurt the one you love?
Keep your kool with the kids
No argument is so necessary that it needs to be played out in front of children. It doesn't take a therapist or child psychologist to know that they hear everything, remember those moments and feel like crap because of it.
Don't be a cheapskate
Whomever makes more money always has that extra control in situations, no matter how many times either of you deny it. But it's up to that person to not lord it over the other's head. Making comments on how much he's spending on electronics or the frequency in which she visits the salon doesn't need to be whined about. Trust each other on buying and spending on whatever you feel is needed.
Stuck in a rut
It's easy to get stuck doing the same old thing when your kids or your jobs are taking up most of your time. Sleep and catching up on PVR-ed shows tend to be what counts for "fun" but it's anything but. You can still go out and maintain that social aspect of your life because without that element, you'll only regret what's missing and resent the fact that it's no longer how it used to be.
Communication is key
The whole issue of not going to bed angry is real. Communicate as healthily as possible but when that's not realistic, do whatever you can to resolve it -- don't walk away. And for your relationship's sake, don't keep things bottled up. That only breeds resentment and bitterness and anger and frustration until -- bam! You explode. And you could've saved all that if you had just talked (or, yes, even yelled).
Importance of being happy
You might not enjoy the same things but don't bash what she likes. Heck, join her and support her and show you'll do whatever she's doing because watching how happy she is should give you that same level of joy.