ARIES (March 21 - April 20).

Especially there is nothing to choose. If impulsive Aries enters, then for wild antics, for example, gunshot and stab wounds. Consisting of a criminal group, he will not tolerate the position of the six, but certainly gets into the leaders. Coolness shows - often climbs for trouble. And he gets it by the horns.Good advice to the stray sheep (lamb-Aries in the wolf's skin) - you will be guilty. Know, our court is the most humane (or fair) court in the world!

TAURUS (April 21 - May 21).

He likes questions: "where to put the money?" Although no - where to get them! There are safes for this. Taurus - "bear cub" (box specialist) - a vocation in which you can invest labor and patience. Especially the second, since the time is long. Will remain to count - how much to be carried away, to sit comfortably (days and nights to go). Perhaps the account will not be in your favor. Can honestly work hard?By the way, the most likely outcome is through hanging. Take care of your throat. Do not engage in criminal activities.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21).

Guys are sharp, do not put a finger in their mouths. They will steal, and they will not blink an eye. There is no bazaar (that is, there is no dispute), one has to train the intellect - to think: "how to have everything, but that nothing is for it?" By the way, all people are brothers (especially Gemini) - however, these have a proud name - "brotherhood". Fans of vehicles (like to "run into" and steal), and ... the Mafia (like many Gemini) - hands are long!However, dear creatures - the "mokruha" will never go. Main specialization: theft, speculation, cheating, deception (sleight of hand and no fraud). In the cartoons to spread, thimbles twist - do not feed bread, let them inflate ... At the same time they remember all the articles of the Criminal Code. With such memory it is convenient to play in cities. For example, Ulan-Ude. - Why? - I was sitting there.

CANCER (22.06. - 22.07.)

The notion of a house is not an empty phrase for a mother zek. That's what people's talk is about: "Your house is a prison!" Nara - the best bed, blanket - starlight in the window ... Not stranger to Cancer family concept (for example, mafia), firmly clings to the sidekicks ("root", genus - the basis of life), tries to follow in the footsteps of authoritative ancestors (does not change the family craft). It is easy to guess what the astrological tendencies direct: to the vocation of "burglar". Who is smaller, a narrow specialization - a foreman.By the way, Cancer will not go to the usual business without fear (take it with him). Therefore, "flew by negligence" - not about him. However, from prison (as well as from sumka) you will not be insured, and ... there is a hope that houses help the walls. In general, Cancer has the most vulnerable soul (in the whole Zodiac), there are "concepts" about conscience. So: "to freedom with a clear conscience!" I congratulate you in advance.

LEO (July 23 - August 23).

In criminal law - it's a cheerful person who realized: "Good deeds can not be glorified." However, I want to leave a memory ("no one is forgotten, nothing is forgotten!"). We have to look for a crooked path, rake in easy money, burn a beautiful life. Ways to satisfy the ego (in common parlance - cheap populism) are not similar in form, but are identical in content. Favorite occupation - suckers "shoe". On a wager, a rally, with the effect (!) Bring shine to poverty, and sometimes back ...The primitive invention of mankind - scam, brings to the sensation of genius significance; vanity grows to an indecent size and ... does not lead to good. What's happening? Sweepstakes, casinos, enchanting shows no longer delight the ears, eyes, body and addictions. The government house is waiting for you! Participate in prison self-activity (talents are needed everywhere). You will not notice how in the creative delights you'll fade away. Good advice: robbery and banditry use in movies, and not in real life. Otherwise, instead of a warm pillow (and your favorite toy), you will bump into a stone wall in a dumb casemate ...However, not everyone reaches triviality. Those who teach, perfect the mastery of a higher-order mahliya on accounting postsignals and enterprising absent-mindedness (crosses and zeros are confused - getting profits from "trifling" trivialities). However, life, taking a toe, does not stop before the crosses. The day comes when the coarse guards of order are taken under the white hands and lead to the office

VIRGO (24.08.-23.09.)

On krupnyaku do not sit down: they adore small thefts, but with the refined chic. If the bags are cut, it's not for money, but for the sake of art. To support this noble initiative, learn to master the skill to determine by eye - who is rich, and whom to stop robbing (ie, already poor). Realizing that art requires victims, they meet new victims in innumerable numbers.However, not everyone reaches triviality. Those who teach, perfect the mastery of a higher-order mahliya on accounting postsignals and enterprising absent-mindedness (crosses and zeros are confused - getting profits from "trifling" trivialities). However, life, taking a toe, does not stop before the crosses. The day comes when the coarse guards of order are taken under the white hands and lead to the office ... Further history is known. Solder according to the proverb: "small spool, yes expensive," that is, for a small profit he bought himself to the fullest ("from the bell to the bell"). But he could, like an honest Frauer - live in freedom, for one salary.

LIBRA (24.09. - 23.10.)

Elitarian habits lead to crimes on aristocratic soil. Natural laziness and unwillingness to work make you commit offenses in a chosen atmosphere, for example, in a theater (a place of culture and recreation). Elegantly beautiful scams in hotels - rubbing confidence in the surrounding elite and the cream of society. It's good to walk in white gloves, wrapped in a muffler, not disdaining "for ponta" a thick (probably someone else's) purse. Work should be in pairs (one does not take so much). And we must share, otherwise friends will not understand.If you are worried that during a cultural holiday, the partner will go to another - do not be sad. The partner will not give up, if he is also sitting. In short, marriages are not only in heaven. There will be a holiday in your cell!

SCORPIO (24.10. - 22.11.)

I like to go too far, swing right, express coolness, do not keep silent in a rag. My favorite pastime is to rob the collection cars, to commit rape (with elements of perversion), to encroach on the lives of ordinary citizens! Robbery and especially grave abuses - alas, to this environment (criminogenic) attracts.However, there are relatively honest citizens who follow the principle: "I paid taxes - sleep well." These are honest reketing, which will not take too much. Conscience does not allow. However, prisons must also be filled, so the "volunteers" plan to overfulfill (with military distinction). They say: "The humpbacked grave will fix," and Scorpio is a good prison. But where can you find her good? It takes a long time to choose, until you stop at the last - forever.

SAGITTARIUS (23.11. - 21.12.)

Who is lucky, so fools and Sagittarius. Their element - fraud on a grand scale, at a high international level. Attracts to trade tickets for non-existent cruises, to promise gold mountains (mass enrichment) on an equal footing, to go to the "arrow" as a boss. Sometimes it's nice to hijack a plane into a foreign country, to establish fraternal foreign relations. For example, than not relatives - the Italian "Goat-Nostra", the Japanese "Yakuza", the Shanghai (Chinese) "Triad"? Although, there is enough Sagittarius.By the way, they are more often than not amnestied. However, it is necessary to sit well before it (for example, on a diet). And then - to freedom, to bum, to have fun! For starters, I advise you to open a restaurant. Do not dare to object: "I opened - the alarm went off". Nothing, but it will be about what memoirs to write - in places not so remote ... Where planes do not fly and trains do not go.

CAPRICORN (22.12 - 20.01.)

He does not have to grumble at fate, will have to experience adversity on his hump. The plan of life before the rude is simple - got drunk, ate and again in prison. For a short time to sit down not to a hurry, to wind it so much (until the end of the century).You can become a cold-blooded killer, whose mathematics are simple: 1 old woman - a ruble, so 5 old women - 5 rubles! However, retribution is inevitable, like the ax of the executioner. One depresses - dreary longevity. Somehow it is not on time ... However, everything must be brought to the end - if not victorious, even if dead-end. The old joke: "Happy New Year! For good behavior, you have another year added." Very funny.

AQUARIUS (21.01 - 19.02.)

It is, as always, something awkward (in some places original). For example, I went to work, but I forgot my iron at home (do not turn it off, but take it with me). Aquarius has an inquisitive mind (like to learn new tortures with an iron). The natural inclination to electrical engineering (and new technologies in particular), brings to the last squeak - in the field of application of modern instruments. They love heaped jeeps with computer control, a clock with a fight (for further distortions), electroshock stimulators. What is characteristic, it shines electric chair.In general, coming to the matter ingeniously, with friends (ie, a team of cohesive slobs and parasites, pollyayuschihsya for free unexpectedly get rich), you can break many firewood. Special success (luck) is pursued in the hacking of virtual stores, since intelligence allows. However, how many ropes do not curl, it will close at the source of the crime (short circuit for many years). Start a new life in the old prison.

PISCES (February 20 - March 20)

In appearance, harmless creatures, but "in nature" - secret mafia and terrible seducers (seducers). His favorite occupation is the drug trade. By the way, they adore poisoning competitors with poisons, but in the end - they also drink the cup of suffering to the bottom.Of course, it's hard to do without the murmurs against destiny (the villain), but the fate's fate is inevitable, therefore ... humility is the best medicine for stray criminal elements. Otherwise, the gas chamber. Come give up, take yourself out into the water. Do not bother the police - do not make it catch red-handed. Disclose secrets voluntarily. At the highest court you will be reckoned. On this, too ...