JOKE: A man gets pulled over on his way to work.

Officer:Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: I suppose it would be for speeding. Officer: Yes sir. Now, where are you heading in such a hurry? Driver: I'm heading to work and I'm running late. I have a very important job. Officer: What type of work is so important that you need to drive 85 mph for? Are you a doctor? Driver: Not a doctor per say, but something of the sort. You see officer, I'm an ass%ole stretcher. Office: Okay, explain this to me. Driver: It's a rather lengthy process. You start out by inserting one finger into the patient's rec@um. Soon, using the other hand you can insert a second. As time progresses you can eventually get both hands in and continue stretching from there. We've gotten some to as large as 6 feet. Officer: What in the world would you do with a 6 foot ass$ole? Driver: Give him a radar gun and park him on the other side of that bridge!