Doctor: Your test results are showing you'll easily live to be 80.
Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now.
Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier!
A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
“That won’t help you, Joe, you know?”
“Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”
Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure.
I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?