You're Not Breaking Up With Me
First of all, can we talk about how hilariously golden this girl’s responses are? What better way to deflect an attempted break up through text than with denial? They are literally not buying into this whatsoever. They will not allow it! You think you’re breaking up with me? Nah.
In fact, this person’s strategy is so good, that the poor guy trying so hard to break up with his girlfriend is actually frustrated! Isn’t it supposed to be the person who got dumped yelling in caps lock and getting angry and emotional? Not this chick, nope. She’s keeping her man.
This is probably one of the worst breakup texts ever. Not because it’s heartbreaking and filled with sorrow and regret, but because it looks like there just might not be a breakup at all. Breakup officially cancelled.
“How’s it feel not to have a boyfriend anymore?”
“I wouldn’t know.” Classic!
When True Colors Come Out
Yeah, this is totally awkward, and we can blame that damn autocorrect, always messing everything up!
How hilariously nonchalant is Jenna’s response here. She’s not mad. She’s not angry. She’s not disappointed. She’s not swayed one bit. Honestly, to Jenna, this sounds like a good idea! To her, this would have been a very easy break-up. After all, she’s been thinking about breaking it off for a moment. To Jenna, they could totally use some time apart.
As for Jason however, this was far from his plans. He didn’t mean “dumping”, He totally meant “Jumping”. And now his girlfriend is agreeing with his mistake, or his phone’s autocorrect? Jenna seriously wants to break it off now? Nice going smartphone technology, out here trying to ruin people’s relationships!
So, does this mean the end of the road for Jenna and Jason? All we know for sure is this is one awkward and pretty bad break up text.
WTF
Raise your hand if you believe this has to be one of the corniest and worst attempts at making a joke. Sure it’s kind of cute at the end, but come on, that is a terrible start of a “joke”. Plus building it up beforehand with the century old “It’s not you, it’s me” line didn’t make it any less cheesy or irritating either.
The fact that the other person’s only responses are emoji’s is interesting. Are they not really bothered? No questions or sarcastic rebuttals or angry ranting? Could that be a sign that they just might not be that into their S/O? Hmm…
Anyway, looks like Casanova here tells really bad jokes, and their S/O isn’t very amused. A break up through text is never a good joke in the first place.
A Little Too Soon
Leave it to your friends to break the news to you before it’s too late right? Wrong.
This goes on the list as one of the worst break up texts ever because it looks like Mark has been keeping the secret from his girl for a while. Here comes Mark’s best friend to the rescue, accidentally dropping the bomb so he doesn’t have to. That’s what good friends are for, aren’t they?
Mark’s girlfriend on the other hand isn’t too pleased, of course. Her boyfriend’s best friend just told her that her bf has been planning to break up with her for a while. Not only that, but he hasn’t even been into her in months? Why didn’t he just admit that to her months ago instead of leading her on? Why did his BFF even tell her he’s felt that way for so long? Why’s Mark’s friend still talking to her and making matters worse? The girl’s right dude, just stop talking. Don’t ever speak again for the rest of your pathetic life! And don’t take your friend’s girlfriends numbers! Ugh, what a mess.
Trying To Break Up By Joke
Well it looks like “Bae” is not bae anymore. We all know that no conversation that starts with “we need to talk” goes well. I feel like they sort of walked right into this one. Did they really expect good news?
So the relationship isn’t working out here. But no, they couldn’t just come right out and say that. They had to make some cheesy analogy about push –ups on your knees. How dumb.
Am I the only one that thinks doing push-ups on their knees is still a workout though? My arms feel like Jell-O either way. Anyway, the point here is that this douche here would rather tell their S/O that their relationship’s no longer working through a corny metaphor rather than just telling how they felt to their partner’s face.
What’s the moral of this story here? Take precaution when involving yourself with a gym rat.