We all know at least one strange celebrity baby name. Remember Frank Zappa's kids? Moon Unit? Diva Muffin? Yikes. Now the Kardashian's are coming up with questionable names, from Stormi and North, to True. Yes, they're unique. But is it in a good way? Well, that's up for interpretation.
What's up with celebrities giving their kids strange names anyway? It's as if they think they're God's gift, and their kids have to reflect how artistic and special they are. Everyone believes that their kid is a perfect angel sent from above. But that certainly doesn't mean we need to name our kids things like "Heiress." I'm looking at you Tiny and TI.
Most of the kids will most likely pull a Zowie Bowie, and change their name to something more traditional at some point. And I can't say I blame them! I know I definitely would! These are just awful. People seem to forget that their kids are not pets or art projects. They're separate human beings who deserve a reasonable name that won't cause ridicule. You don't need to prove how special and unique you are by giving your kids names like Petal Blossom Rainbow. That's just pure craziness.
5. APPLE MARTIN
Oh Apple, you poor, sweet girl. What were Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin thinking? Well, apparently Chris's booking agent, Marty Diamond has a child named Apple, and they asked permission to use the name should they have a girl. I suppose they just genuinely liked the name — Martin did, at least. Paltrow claims that he was the reason they decided upon that name.
According to Paltrow in an interview with Howard Stern in 2015, her daughter "loves" her name. Who knows though. I mean, I'm sure she's certainly used to it at this point. Apple is now thirteen years old. I'm just glad they have no control over my kid's names. I shudder at the thought of what other wacky names they could burden people with.
4. BLUEBELL MADONNA
Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell chose this unique name for her daughter. Bluebell Madonna is now eleven years old, and has a little brother named Monty. Not the most common name in the world, but it is, in fact, a name. It seems like Bluebell got the short end of the stick. She's a beautiful and bright little girl, and I would be surprised if she continued to be called Bluebell for the rest of her life. The first thing that pops into my head when I hear that word is "cow." No one wants to be associated with cows.
Geri said she came up with the idea for the name when her mother told her the bluebell flower is becoming increasingly rare.
She thought it would fit her beautiful daughter perfectly. While that's true, I'm still not a fan of the name.
3. DENIM BRAXTON
Denim Cole Braxton is now 16 years old, and he has a sibling named Diesel. Why Toni Braxton, why? Well, according to her, they planned on naming him Denham, but when the nurse referred to their baby as DenHAM, they decided to change the spelling to fit what they had envisioned. She also said,
"I think names can define you. I think it’s important that kids have their own identity, and I think this is a decade of having freedom."
Again, I'm not sure what's up with celebrities putting such heavy importance on the names of their children, but it isn't that serious you guys. What you name your children does matter, but not to this extent. It doesn't really define anything. That's what actions and character are for.
2. HUCKLEBERRY GRYLLIS
Bear Grylls and his wife, Shara, have three beautiful boys named Jesse, Marmaduke, and Huckleberry. Eek. It's as if they've descended into weird-name territory slowly over the years. Jesse? Perfectly normal. Marmaduke? Um, okay, I guess. Huckleberry? Why? They haven't really explained why they chose such an interesting name for their youngest son. The only thing Bear has said in response is,
"Jesse, Duke, and Huck! Won’t that be great when they’re 18?"
If you say so Bear. If you say so. They sure are cute kids, so if anyone can get away with a name like Marmaduke or Huckleberry, it would certainly be them. We're willing to bet that they'll choose a different name once they grow up.
1. BLUE IVY
Yeah, unless you've been living under a rock, you know who Blue Ivy is. She's Jay-Z and Beyonce's darling daughter. Apparently Bey was inspired by a passage from Rebecca Solnit's novel, A Field Guide To Getting Lost. The passage reads:
"The world is blue at its edges and in its depths...the blue at the farthest reaches of the places where you see for miles, the blue of distance. This light does not touch us, does not travel the whole distance, the light that gets lost, gives us the beauty of the world, so much of which is in the color blue."
Okay, I'll admit I've never been one for cryptic poetry, but seriously. What in the world? It's beautifully written, but was it really worthy of naming your daughter after? Why not just name an album after the passage, instead of your child?