MARION, N.C. (WLOS) —
A mountain Vietnam veteran urges fellow vets to seek treatment for PTSD.
"There is help out there, but you've got to be willing to take it," Mark Becker, of Marion, said, pointed out that more than 20 veterans a day commit suicide across the U.S.
His scrapbook tells tell the story of the Vietnam War in pictures.
"I happened to snap a few pictures of the refugees," he said, pointing to a photo. "I was a door gunner on a UH-1E helicopter."
Becker served in the Marines for six years.
"I was awarded the Combat Aircrew Wings with three gold stars from my commanding officer," he said, pointing to his book.
Photos offer a snapshot of the war experience, but there's one thing cameras can't capture -- the aftermath for the men and women who served.
"And they said you have severe combat PTSD," he said of the diagnosis that came after nearly 20 years of turmoil.
Ten years ago, his pen documented his pain.
"In a dark time," he said. "That one was done when I was really depressed. I had been in my room for about three days."
Eleven sentences paint a picture most can't begin to visualize.
To this day, the words still make him tremble.
"We are the silent forgotten warriors," he said, reading the essay he wrote 10 years ago describing PTSD." We are the ones with torn apart families. We are are the ones that cause much pain to these family members.
"It's as if our emotions are bound by an invisible cord. Unable to break free, unable to have a normal healthy life."
Becker said he attempted suicide a few times.
"You just keep sinking until it hurts," he said.
Today, he lights incense and builds models, doing whatever it takes to find peace.
Beck said life with PTSD gets better with treatment programs, making a plea to fellow veterans to swallow their pride.
His quality of life now is far beyond what it was when he wrote that letter.
"So many of us have looked at the bottom of a bottle," he wrote. "Or have been through countless medications seeking relief for emotional turmoil we live through every day. How many have not made it at all?"
Today, those words of despair assure younger veterans they're not alone.
"I've shared it with a lot of young Afghani and Iraqi veterans, and they wanted a copy," he said. "And they said, 'That's what I'm experiencing.'"
PTSD
We are the silent forgotten warriors. We are the ones with torn apart families. The lost, but not forgotten loved ones. We are the ones who have caused immeasurable pain to these family members. Most times we do not see, are not aware of what our actions cause and bring about. When we do see, so many times we are unable to do anything about it. It's as though our emotions are bound by an invisible cord. Unable to break free. Unable to have a normal healthy life. Many of us spend a life in solitude. Surrounded by a depression or engulfed by a severe acute awareness, ever vigilant for an unseen enemy lurking in the shadows of our minds. How many of us have sought relief? So many have looked at the bottom of a bottle or have been through countless medications seeking relief for the emotional turmoil we live with every day.
How many have not made it at all?
Mark Becker, Vietnam veteran