Yesterday after my broadcast of the "Top 15 Reasons Why You Don't Marry A Man" a closed sister of mine forward her question pleading for more emphasizes
Her question goes thus...
"Good evening Sir. I have a question base on ur post. How will u know that the man that wants to marry u loves u?
While trying to handled the question I behold another inquires from one of my baby sister and it goes thus...
"Please how do i know that this person is my husband, not that am planning to marry oooh"
issorite!
And before I could held my phone-button a very naughty and stubborn sister of mine forwarded her own question which goes thus.....
"I want to share something with u. pls how do u know d will of God"
Now where exactly do we begin? How can we resolved this heavy marital issues glooming in the heart of these damsel.
Though majority might also be stocked in same marital dilemma of how to detect the true love and cares of a man......the right man for them and God's will concerning such man?
Nevertheless I would like to tackled these 3 questions in different angles...by not trying to focused all in same phaze....., honestly in spiritual terms the whole questions ought to directed toward one source and that is......"how to know God's perfect will husband"
Hence I'll commenced by sharing a true life story of my sister (cousin) who found herself in marital cross-road, and this moment she is frankly regreting her marital quest.
# TRUE LIFE STORY OF MY COUSIN SISTER.
Sister chiyenre was a very closed sister of mine. Though she suppassed me with few months in age but we still an age-mate.
She graduated from girls high school during those days in secondary school and her parent were spiritual mentors and honest fellows.
However as years gone-by she got entangled with a beloved dude in the ministry whom serves as a pastor in one of the reknowned church in Nigeria.
After several months invested in playing supergete and indomiee love without Nafdac number and registration they eventual tied the knot in marriage.
The arrival of the first child.....and another....with another pregnancy all built in pains, intimidation and frustration.
The last straw that broke the carmel back was the day I visited her (she share all her hidden suffering and pains with me) and I kept wandering "why the sudden change of character,.....this dude was once a lovely and caring man, but why acting in an animalistic act,....beating my sister, hunger strike, fighting my aunt (mother-law), her children and threaten to dissolved the marriage"
What can a nice dude like me do?
Anyway I managed to consoled her and eventual took my leave but I heard my sister uttered vividly
"My brother am sicked and tired of this marriage, this isn't the man I once knew and married"
Nevertheless, after a while another set of civil-war erupted, the police report, the arrest and divorvement. Presently she is with her children, struggling in poverty without cares with little effort of her parent.
Here is my question and inquires.....
"why the sudden change of this man? A spiritual man whom loves and always cares for my sister during the early days in their courtship?
The answer to this question is still hidden from her parent's and siblings and it's only she and her husband knew the cankerworm behind their marital conflicts.
However due to my closeness with her and the husband I eventual detects the centipede behind their troubles.
My sister was a godly daughter, trained and nurtures by God fearing parent. She has good moral and respectful and crowned up with virginity.
But along the line she accidentally lost her dignity (virginity) to a strange fellow while engaged to her hubby.
She didn't opened-up to him until their wedding night when the unfortunate dude discovered that the ripen paw-paw had been busted.
(Let Stop Here).
.....let go back to our questions.
1. HOW TO KNOW IF HE LOVE ME?
Sis, based on above story, you can't really defined, approved or defend the love or cares of any man seeking for your hand in marriage because man can't love unconditionally.
The love of man has limits while God's loves is unlimited. Even when you rebel he will still forgives, forget and embraced you but man may forgives but will never forget and not likely going to embraced you.
Literally, the act of cares and loves a man showers on you while in relationship/courtship can not be used to justified the possibilities of further expression of such love after wedding.
Man is a hard being and it's only God can understand his contents.
The perfect way you can grab a clip if such loves and cares will continue to emits after wedding is to properly examined his temperance, grace of forgiveness and acceptance.
If presently he still cares, loves, lavishing goodies, calling and flying around you like a bees but finding it extremely difficult to forgives minors issues, overlooks and accept apology.
Heh, Sis you are trending on slippery ground because he is gonna dealt with you in that marriage.
Another sign is when man's aim is after your virginity and not after the deposited virtues in you.
Sisterly, you might smell yoruba pepper
in that marriage because once he succeeded in breaking that virginity in your wedding night, you will turns into an old maid.
2. HOW TO KNOW IF HE IS MY HUSBAND:
Hi sis, you can't detect if a specific man is going to be your divine future husband without godly approval. It's only God who can direct your footstep and spiritual eyes to meet and behold your life partner.
From above story we can infer the faulty foundation in which the marriage was built upon. The marriage was formed under the spirit of lustfulness and personal desires.
Hence the perfect way to acknowledged if he is going to be your future hubby is based on God's revelation and the godly mindset of the man.
If his mindset is toward your virginity, beauty or physical appearance, he isn't from God because God isn't only God of perfection but also God of imperfection.
3. HOW TO KNOW GOD PERFECT WILL HUSBAND.
Hi sis, the act of detecting God's perfect will husband begins with you.
If you are presently seeking for God's perfect will son as your husband you must also ensure you are God's perfect will daughter for his son.
You need to first examine your character and ensure you are well knowledgeable about your responsibility in marriage. God isn't partial and can't gives his son an unprepared daughter as a wife.
Hence you need to get acquainted in morality, submissiveness, respectfulness and obedient while in your singlesness.
You must be prayerful and addicted in scriptures meditations, fasting and self-control before aiming for God's perfect will husband.
Afterward the next phase is to endulged in marathons of fasting and prayers and asked him to revealed his perfect will son among those Tom & Jerry seeking for your hand in marriage.
Please asked him for multiples confirmations and if you didn't behold any revelation, keep on praying but never accept any proposal without godly confirmations. And that confirmation must comes from you.
God's perfect will son might be crippled, blinded, dwarf, very poor, illiterates or empty and when you embraced and married him, your life shall never remained the same because God must surely proves himself.
But here is my question "How many of you sisters are willing to marry God's perfect will son who is presently poor and empty?