In your description of yourself in your social media profile, what information do you include? Do you say what you do and what you’ve accomplished? Do you share your interests? How about your marital status and whether or not you’re a parent?
For Hillary Clinton, it reads, “Wife, mom, grandma, women+kids advocate, FLOTUS, Senator, SecState, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, 2016 presidential candidate.” Her marital status, being the wife of former president Bill Clinton for more than 40 years, comes first, and for author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, that’s a tad upsetting. Especially when she considers that Bill doesn’t identify himself as a husband and father in his own Twitter profile.
The celebrated writer and self-proclaimed feminist interviewed Hillary on Sunday at the PEN World Voices Festival lecture in New York City and let her know her feelings about the leading descriptor.
“In your Twitter account, the first word that describes you is ‘Wife.’ And then I think it’s ‘Mom,’ and then it’s ‘Grandmother,'” she said, according to Jezebel. “And when I saw that, I have to confess that I felt just a little bit upset. And then I went and I looked at your husband’s Twitter account, and the first word was not ‘husband.'”
Initially, Hillary responded by saying, “When you put it like that, I’m going to change it.” But she also shared a story about hearing the late Barbara Bush speak at Wellesley College back in the early ’90s and how Bush said, “at the end of the day, it won’t matter if you got a raise, it won’t matter if you wrote a great book, if you are not also someone who values relationships.” Hillary said she walked away from the speech feeling as though it’s ok to define yourself by whatever truly pleases you.
“It shouldn’t be either/or. It should be that if you are someone who is defining yourself by what you do and what you accomplish, and that is satisfying, then more power to you,” she told Adichie. “That is how you should be thinking about your life, and living it. If you are someone who primarily defines your life in relationship to others, then more power to you, and live that life the way Barbara Bush lived that life, and how proud she was to do it.”
“But I think most of us as women in today’s world end up in the middle,” she added. “Wanting to have relationships, wanting to invest in them, nurture them, but also pursuing our own interests.”
Hillary also made mention of Senator Tammy Duckworth, who recently cast a vote on the Senate floor with her newborn child in her arms.
“I think that summed it all up” she said. “She’s a mom, she’s a Senator, she’s a combat veteran. She is somebody who is trying to integrate all of the various aspects of her life. And that’s what I’ve tried to do for a very long time, and it’s not easy.”
I don’t think Adichie’s question was ridiculous as both women identify themselves as advocates for women. However, I do find it interesting. Adichie has always made it clear that she doesn’t want to be identified as anything near a wife or a mother (she is both). And that’s what works for her. So it’s intriguing that the decision of another feminist when it comes to how they choose to identify themselves would “upset” her. According to the idea of feminism, you are allowed the freedom to define yourself as you like, and do what you please (I’m assuming, as long as that doesn’t harm anyone else). So if Hillary wants to first identify herself in correlation with someone else, that person being her husband, and she’s proud of making that relationship work and what has come of it (Hey, Chelsea), she should happily be able to do so without having to explain it. No need to tell anybody you’re going to change it if it’s how you really feel, because as Adichie once stated herself, “It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself.”
Oh, and for the record, as of time of publication, Hillary still hasn’t changed her Twitter profile.