Empathy. Simply put, it’s putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and allows us to show compassion for others and manage conflict. Having some form of empathy is imperative to forming healthy relationships because, let’s face it, no one wants to be friends with a narcissist. When we take a closer look at empathy we have to examine not just exhibiting it (or not) how it affects others we come in contact with in, but aso how it affects our everyday actions and decisions. It’s easy to fake a form of empathy in front of others, but how do we behave behind closed doors when no one is looking? That, my friends, is a little thing called integrity; and integrity and empathy go hand in hand.
Last month I saw a story about former video-vixen-turned-reality-tv-personality Melyssa Ford being in intensive care after a serious car crash. Immediately my thoughts turned to good wishes for a speedy recovery and as I went to the comment section to type my thoughts, I saw people making jokes. The harsher the comment the more likes it had. I wish I could say this was an isolated incident.
Any given moment on social media any story can be turned upside down in the comment section. So most of you would just brush it off as trolls being trolls and say to just stay away from the comment section but there is a deeper underlying issue here. Folks are so busy trying to get likes and attention on social media that they show no natural affection for their fellow man. Likes and clicks have replaced empathy and common sense.
Social media should be a place to stay connected with loved ones, share ideas, grow businesses, and stay informed on world events. Instead, it’s been replaced with publicity stunts, memes, and people doing the most. Vying for attention and trying to be #goals has replaced authenticity.
How many more stories do we need to see of a Facebook fight, shaming, or bullying resulting in deadly outcomes for us to wake up? Have we become so desensitized that we now find it funny to ignore, laugh at, or make memes about someone else’s pain? Or are we so bombarded with so many emotionally draining stories that we are simply just too tired to care? Maybe we are all victims of compassion fatigue or maybe our behavior on social media is showing us that despite having so many opportunities to communicate and connect, we still don’t really understand one another and that there is no substitute for face-to-face communication.
I completely understand using laughter to heal from pain but there is a difference in trying to find the bright side of a situation and using someone’s pain to get attention, validation and create conflict. Social media trolls are not going anywhere but the less attention they get, the better. Whenever I see someone obviously trolling, I keep scrolling. I don’t even respond, not even to tell them they are wrong because that is what they want. And I feel sad that they live such a toxic existence. Just like Trump has emboldened racists to show their true selves, the anonymity of social media has given internet trolls a safe space to be demonize people.
I encourage all of us to really look at the words we are spewing online and what we are “liking.” Thoughts and words have energy and when we laugh at a troll’s comment or even engage in a harmful debate we are creating a space of negative energy. We spend on average 2 hours a day online, be careful not to sacrifice your mental health or the mental health of others for a double tap.