My partner and I do have a spare bedroom, and we’ve often discussed renting it out because it would be a very lucrative way to make some passive income. Realistically, we could each easily save $400 a month if we got a roommate. Yes—each—as in $800 total. That’s just how the market is in our neighborhood. But, how “passive” is that passive income, really? We actually found out when a friend of ours was in the process of breaking up with a live-in girlfriend, and moved into our spare room for a few months. You never simply share a space with someone. You don’t get to draw a line down the center of the apartment, and then go on about your days as if the others aren’t there. Having a roommate, when you’re a couple, is an interesting thing. Here are some of the realties.
You can’t just host, whenever
You can no longer just host a dinner party or any type of party, as a couple, whenever you feel like it. If you have to check with your roommate to see if that’s okay with him. He may have an early morning and not be okay with it. That’s one more schedule to contend with when you want to host.
And when you do, you feel you should invite him
When you do host, you feel obligated to invite the roommate to hang out with you and your friends, even if you don’t really want him there. It just seems rude to be sitting around in the living room with a group and not tell the roommate, who is in his room alone, that he can join.
You’ll feel weird having sex in your own home and there’s no getting around that. You already had a hard time finding the time to have sex with your partner—you’re both so busy—and now you also have to find a time when the roommate won’t be home.
You can’t just decide that you and your boo are having a Netflix and chill night. You don’t get to monopolize the big screen TV all night. What if the roommate wanted to watch something?
You must share the living room
You will be sharing the living space. So, while you’re comfortable with silence with your partner, you aren’t that comfortable with the roommate. You feel obligated to make chit chat if you’re in the same room, and that can be exhausting.
You feel odd cooking for just the two of you
You feel weird just making dinner for you and your partner when the roommate is home. You always feel like you should offer him some of your food. He’s just microwaving a sad little frozen dinner, and you made this beautiful meal.
No more date nights at home
You mostly kiss date nights at home, goodbye. You can’t just take over the kitchen, decorate the table, light some candles, and turn the common area into a romantic area. Somebody else lives there, too.
You must refrain from being the “bosses”
You’ll have to resist the urge to act like you and your partner are the bosses of the apartment. Your roommate will need to feel he has equal say in things like major pieces of décor and quiet hours.
People see you as less of adults
Outsiders will scoff a little—perhaps silently—when they learn you have a roommate. Some people think part of being an adult couple is not having a roommate.
You do save a ton of money
You could save so much money, though. If you get over some of the inconveniences, you could seriously speed up your progress towards your savings goals.
You could have a new buddy
If you get along well with the new roommate, it could be a dream come true. When your partner is too busy to go to the movies with you, the roommate can come along. You have someone to chat with when your partner is away. It can be nice.
There may be power struggles
There will be times your partner takes the roommate’s side on a house issue. You tell yourself you won’t take it personally, but you obviously do—you want your boo taking your side.
You may have extra help at home
If you have a reliable roommate, you could have extra help at home. Maybe the roommate will walk your dog for you when you’re away and help keep the place extra tidy.
OR, you could get a new liability
If you have an irresponsible roommate, you could have a liability on your hands. You have to remind him not to leave the door open, because of the dog, and remind him to clean his dishes.
Private conversations feel odd
You can’t really have private conversations with your partner openly. You have to go into your bedroom to do that. If you want to talk about, for example, a fight with your family member, you feel odd doing that in the kitchen.