Fans of Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett are not the only ones shocked by news of the couple’s imminent separation after nearly 10 years of marriage.
Sources tell PEOPLE members of the pair’s inner circle, including close family and friends, are surprised that Wilkinson and Baskett are so close to calling it quits this time, considering how hard they fought for their marriage over the years despite overcoming many ups and downs.
“They had some rough times, but that’s marriage. It’s bound to happen. They really tried, and their loved ones were convinced they’d come out of this stronger,” an insider says of the duo, who met in 2008 and married in June 2009 after a nearly one-year engagement.
Wilkinson and Baskett, who are parents to 8-year-old son Hank IV and 3-year-old daughter Alijah, have yet to officially announce their split, but the mother of two admitted in February that they were having marital problems.
“Kendra is devastated by what’s going on right now. She never dreamed when she married Hank that they wouldn’t have a solid marriage forever,” a separate source tells PEOPLE.
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Wilkinson and Baskett’s marriage was first rocked by scandal in 2014 when news broke that he allegedly had an affair with a transgender model while she was eight months pregnant with daughter Alijah.
“The incident really shook them. She tried so hard to get over it, but the reminders were everywhere,” the source says. “Hank has a really good heart and he beat himself up over what happened. At one point, it seemed like things were totally back on track. But now they’re both so unhappy.”
One of their marital problems could be the differences in their personalities.
“Kendra is outspoken, extroverted and very sure of her opinion. She is much more the alpha but that’s simply how she’s wired,” the insider shares. “Hank is more introverted but eager to please and has a more subtle personality. They are both passionate people, but in their own ways.”
Though they’ve tried couples therapy, in addition to WE tv’s Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, the pair has been struggling to connect when it comes to their parenting techniques.
“They love each other and the family dynamic they’ve built together but just aren’t on the same page when it comes to parenting styles,” a source close to Wilkinson told PEOPLE in late February, adding, “Hank is definitely more of the disciplinarian, but they’ve been trying to work together.”