The Everything Platter
We've all been there. You've had a few (dozen) too many and you get really hungry. But, your mind is totally compromised by fermented grain/hops/grapes, so you make really bad decisions in the kitchen. Next thing you know - you wake up with a headache, a stomach ache and no idea how that huge mystery stain got there. It happens to the best of us. Some people manage to cook up full-fledged disasters right at home. And, for every cringe-worthy cooking fail, there's a mouthwatering win. So we ranked the best and the worst drunk food ideas ever for your viewing pleasure.
RECIPE: First, ruthlessly pillage your fridge and cupboard for anything that doesn’t require cooking. Arrange everything to your liking. Enjoy. Disclaimer: the Everything Platter above was obviously arranged by a jedi…or a sober person. Usually, the result is way sloppier, though no less delicious.
Ramen Noodle Sandwich
Newsflash: college students get drunk a lot. And, when they get hungry, they work with what they've got (which is a whole lot of cup noodle soup.) This sandwich might not seem appetizing, but wait 'till you see the ramen cheeseburger in #8...
Can't Opener
In case you haven't heard, the most "cutting edge" way of opening a can is NOT "cutting" its "edge" off with a knife. You failed horribly, but you most definitely get points for effort.
Grilled Eggs
Let's admit it - everyone who enjoys alcohol has cooked eggs at 3:30AM. But this person is really thinking outside the box, by cooking INside a handmade aluminum-foil tray.
Ramen Noodle Cheeseburger
A Double Ramen Cheeseburger is twice as nutritious, since there's a second slice of cheese. Somehow, this actually looks tasty. Of course, it fades in comparison with the mouth-watering photos in the next few slides.
Can Openers Are For Sissies
No can opener? No problem! Well, Drunk You couldn't open the can, but at least you learned your lesson. Next time just use a power saw!
Jelly Bean Omelette
The Jelly Bean Omelette may not be as epic as an Everything Sub (see #5) but it has something for everyone. There's Jelly Beans for the sweet-lovers, mozzarella for the borings, and eggs for everyone else.
The Everything Sub Sandwich
This sub definitely puts the "hero" in "hero sandwich." But we all know no one can actually finish one of these. It's kind of a waste of bacon, onion rings, chicken fillet, mac & cheese, sausage and fries...
Mciver Pizza Oven
The thing about drunk ideas is that you never quite think them through. Even when you're sure you thought of everything and made sure to heat your pizza evenly, you burn your fingers picking up the slice. Sure, you can just tilt the clothing iron until the pizza slides down, but drunk you would never catch it.
Permanent Tea Kettle
If you attempt heating a plastic teapot on a gas stove, you could at least keep an eye on it. Obviously, the very-drunk 'genius' who took this pic was sure it'd be fine This type of drunk kitchen fail will haunt you for weeks. Because that's how long it takes to scrub melted plastic from a stovetop.
Microwaves Are For Food
These are DRUNK people who should definitely stay out of the kitchen !!
We have to admit, hot 'Choco Nusa' (aka generic Nutella) is an amazing ice cream topping idea. But why not heat it on a plate? Are you really going to eat the whole jar?
Chocolate Chip Pizza
These are DRUNK people who should definitely stay out of the kitchen !!
Note to drunk self: just because the chocolate chip cookies come in the same box as the pizza, doesn't mean they're a topping. In hindsight, it's also best to get at least half-way through a bottle of Jack before pulling out the microwave pizzas.