"Every time you touched me and hurt me I didn't want my body...it was filthy to me.
"There was not enough soap in the world to clean myself each time," a teenage sexual abuse survivor told her aggressor during his sentencing in the New Plymouth District Court on Friday.
"My insides are torn and my heart is broken because of you."
Gordon William Lemberg was jailed in New Plymouth for sex acts against a young girl.
Stone faced, Gordon William Lemberg sat in the dock as the 17-year-old stood, supported by her mum, and delivered an emotional and harrowing victim impact statement.
She spoke about how the abuse, which spanned 2008 to 2013 and the Taranaki region, began when she was seven years old and continued into her preteens.
"You took my childhood, my worth, my voice and worst of all you took my innocence."
The now hearing-impaired man in his late 50s had had been a trusted family friend, she said.
The teen had looked to Lemberg as a grandfather. He often babysat her and took her to the shop to buy her lollies.
"I hate myself everyday for listening to your vindictive, manipulating words instead of saying something earlier or screaming for the help before it was too late."
The teen never revealed the abuse until 2016, first telling a school friend's father and then her own mother.
Lemberg initially faced nine sex charges, two of which were rape. He denied the offending and a trial by jury began in December, 2018.
But, part-way through the teen's testimony, the trial came to an abrupt end with the Crown amending some of the charges and withdrawing the remainder.
Guilty pleas were then entered to three charges of sexual conduct with a child under the age of 12.
The abuse continues to haunt the girl. She suffers through flashbacks and is crippled by anxiety, she said through tears in court.
"You're a coward who will remain nothing but a creepy old man who ruined my life. I wish I never met you but if I didn't who says that it wouldn't stop you from hurting other people?
"I don't know if I'm a saviour or a survivor."
In his summary of the case, Judge Garry Barkle praised the teen's bravery in initiating the court process, following it through and having the fortitude to stand and share, in a small way, what she had gone through.
"I can only wish her all the best for her future," he said.
Barkle said Lemberg lacked insight and acceptance of his offending.
He said a report detailed how Lemberg appeared to blame the teen for his actions and only expressed remorse for himself.
For the three charges, Lemberg was jailed for one year and six months. He was also added to the child sex offenders' register.