Ari. 37. Birthplace: Bronx, New York. Currently: Jersey City, New Jersey. Spiritual, Not Religious. Baseball. Musician.
What does the concept/word “feminism” mean to you? What does the concept of equality mean to you?
When I think of the word feminism, I sort of equate it with equality. It seems to exude something in that way. Whenever I hear that word as a political movement or social movement, it’s usually in regard to things being equal. I would say feminism and equality are one and the same for me.
What do you think is the most pressing struggle for women today? What is the most crucial aspect in your eyes?
What I find to be the most messed up, is the idea that by law they don’t have control over certain things concerning their physical body. In terms of a woman getting pregnant, I’m a pro-choice person, so as far as my country is concerned, that’s the most egregious thing that I see. I think it’s the biggest, most absurd thing that a woman would have to jump through a whole lot of hoops for the law’s sake in order to do what they want with their body and not be able to make that decision on their own.
Is feminism a subject you think about? Have you ever read a book or seen a documentary about feminist issues?
Yeah. I mean there are situations where it just kind of comes up throughout the day that make you think. I mean, even just how I relate to my wife and the fact that we do a very similar thing with our careers, but she clearly has way more hurdles to jump through in order to succeed, simply based on a lot of long-standing “rules of the industry”.
What kind of hurdles?
Well just how young she needs to look and the idea that she can be an equal to the people around her and not be looked at as an object is a really difficult thing for any woman in music right now I think. Still today. Even though I think it’s maybe slightly better than it was 10 or 15 years ago, but it’s still an issue and it simply isn’t for a guy. So I think about it in that respect but I also just think I run into situations all the time where I see a woman’s liberties being compromised in some way. In very small ways, just thinking: why is she not getting paid the same amount as this guy? Things like that are all around and it’s just a matter of whether we’re aware enough to look at them. Sometimes I’m guilty of not being aware, but I do feel like I notice it. As far as documentaries, I haven’t seen a specific one about feminism but I’d be interested in hearing what you have to say about that.
Why do you identify as a feminist and how/when did you learn about it? What were you taught about women growing up?
It’s not the kind of thing where I walk around saying I’m a feminist. I don’t feel the need to publicly state it but if somebody asks me if I feel feminist – it kind of goes back to that equality question. I feel like it’s one and the same. First of all I feel like it’s a common sense thing, but I also saw my mother essentially make a life out of her profession and be a mother at the same time and just kick ass at both her career and motherhood, without my father’s help because they split up. She really took on this larger than life role for me and my brother. She became the model for what I feel like a woman is capable of, which is just as much as a man. I don’t think of her as just a one-dimensional person, and I think that maybe that’s kind of the issue here – some people think that there are certain roles that women have to play but my mother played them all, so I got lucky I guess. It makes me a little more aware of when I see that not being the case for other women and how screwed up that is. I think I just grew up with it. I identify more with my mother than my father in my family and I think my mother kind of took on a little bit of both roles for me and did a great job at both so I just don’t think of her or women in general as limited to a certain ability level.
Why do you think the word “feminist” is associated with a negative stigma? What do you think it connotes? How do you think it could change?
I wouldn’t say that the word has a negative connotation, I just think that there are some people who are highly sensitive to terminology that’s maybe fiercely stated whether it’s feminism or racism or whatever. Words that are strong like that some people have a hard time listening to and being cool with just hearing that person out. And so I think with guys who feel that way, it’s coming more from an insecure place. Just off the top of my head I thought that it’s not all that dissimilar from an African-American who is saying Black Lives Matter. In my opinion they’re not trying to say that black people are better than anybody else, they’re just trying to state the obvious; that they should have the same rights as anybody else, so that’s why it all kind of ties back to equality for me.
Is feminism empowering for men? If so, how? How does feminism differ for you?
I think it can be empowering for men to listen to why they need to warm up to a different mindset as they’ve had kind of an archaic way of thinking about what a man’s roles are and what a woman’s roles are. I think it’s good for them to hear. I mean I don’t think I need to hear it, but I understand why it can be beneficial for some guys to really understand what the word means.
What issues/reservations do you have with feminism today? What do you personally think needs change?
To be honest I don’t know that I can answer that. I guess I don’t really have an issue when somebody says that word. It doesn’t irk me or affect me in any kind of negative way.
This post was originally published on the author’s Tumblr and is republished here with permissions.
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—Photo credit: Deryne Keretic