Here’s hoping he sets an example other powerful men will follow.
alexis ohanian
Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian—perhaps better known these days as Mr. Serena Williams—is stepping down from his daily role at the company. The decision, he told Fortune, was inspired because “all these dad reflexes kicked in,” after he took a 16-week paternity leave to bond with his and Serena’s daughter, Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr.
If you’re wondering just how much the personal child-rearing decisions of some wealthy tech guy affects your life as an average working mom, the answer is: a lot, actually.
Because Ohanian just may be the first powerful man, married to a powerful woman, who is choosing the traditionally “female” path: to put his career on the back burner in favor of spending more time with his kid. Besides being an amazing gift to Serena, who absolutely deserves to keep smashing tennis records as long as she can, Ohanian’s decision blazes a trail for other men to follow.
We should be careful not to give him too much credit, as he will still serve on the board at Reddit and will also be stepping into a bigger role at Initialized Capital, a VC firm he co-founded. Still, Reddit was the fourth-most visited website in the U.S. in 2017. Stepping down is a game-changer.
Women, of course, have been putting our career aspirations on hold for time immemorial, even when we claim just as lofty titles as our husbands. In one of infinite examples: Just 12 percent of female business leaders have partners who stay home full-time, while 55 percent of married male executives have stay-at-home spouses, according to surveys of alumnae conducted by researchers at Harvard Business School and the CUNY Graduate Center.
Or, look at Eva Mendes, who at least received a lovely televised recognition from husband Ryan Gosling for taking care of their kids while he was “singing and dancing and playing piano and having one of the best experiences I’ve ever had on a film.”
Or, consider the fact that no one ever speculated that Ohanian would step down from Reddit, while plenty of pundits wondered whether Serena would return to tennis—a double standard that Ohanian himself points out in the Fortune interview.
And his decision shows what a huge impact paternity leave can have on dads—just as maternity leave can have on moms. He credits Reddit’s paternity leave policy of 16 paid weeks with providing the perspective that ultimately led to his decision to step back. “I was a believer before, but now I wholeheartedly believe that every single dad should take it.”
It makes sense. We all know plenty of moms who decided they simply didn’t want to return to work after their maternity leave was up, choosing instead to spend more time bonding with their new bundle of joy. It’s a complete fallacy to think that men aren’t susceptible to the same tender persuasions, especially in a time when they are embracing fatherhood like never before.
It’s actually pretty simple: spending lots of time with kids make you appreciate kids, for both the bad and the good. You enjoy their wide-eyed wonder and sweet laughter, and you know just how much damn work it takes to keep them laughing instead of pouring olive oil on your new rug. Paternity leave makes men better fathers and husbands.
According to a Department of Labor policy brief, one study of working fathers in the U.S. found that those who took leaves of two weeks or more were much more likely to be actively involved in their child’s care nine months after birth—including feeding, changing diapers, and getting up in the night. And Canadian researchers found that dads who took a full paternity leave devoted 23 percent more of their time to household chores—even one to three years after their leave ended (perhaps because they have first-hand experience with just how challenging managing both a home and baby can be).
So, yes, Ohanian’s announcement is a big deal for all of us, especially if more men follow in his footsteps, as he seems to believe they will. He told Fortune that many of the men he mentors said they now feel they have “permission” to do the same.
Which is important because men don’t take paternity leave, even when they have generous policies. In family-friendly Norway, for example, fathers are eligible for 14 weeks of paid leave, and yet only about 18 percent of them take it.
This has to change. We know that the off-ramping and part-time work women do after having kids accounts for most of the wage gap between men and women. If more men made Ohanian’s decision, that gap would begin to shrink.
If more men made Ohanian’s decision, more women would have more support at home.
If more men made Ohanian’s decision, more women would ascend to the corner office. Sure, we can’t all be Serena, but we can all make an impact on the world.
And, perhaps most importantly, if more men made Ohanian’s decision, we’d be setting a more equitable example for our boys and girls.